I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Randomize