Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
