My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
My boob is missing a layer of skin
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Randomize
