At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
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