Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
