i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize