just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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