I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
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