Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
