The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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