Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
