Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
