All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
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