We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize