Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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