so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
