I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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