He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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