So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Plan B is the new Plan A
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
