Apparently you make a good broom.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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