why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
