grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
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