i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
