walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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