A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize
