I think I died a long time ago.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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