So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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