she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize