apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
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