And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize