I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
