when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Randomize
