You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Randomize
