CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
dude. I can hear the air.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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