dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
