that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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