I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
