i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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