My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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