so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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