idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
