I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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