i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
