Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
