I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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