wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Randomize