Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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