Your tits are I can't wait for
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Randomize