i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
