This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
