I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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