She said her name was "party"
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Randomize
