Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I need a hoe opinion
go on
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize