Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
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