I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Randomize
