I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Randomize
