I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Randomize
