I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
