Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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