People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Randomize
