We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Randomize