You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Duck Duck Cougar?
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
