You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
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