mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
