I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
